- Snow: Emma, you have to get used to the idea.
- Emma: No. It’s too crazy. You as a princess I can buy, and Regina as a witch actually makes a lot of sense. But this? No.
- Snow: Emma—
- Emma: Nope.
- Snow: He’s your *father*. And he’s actually not that bad. You have to give him a chance.
- Emma: No. After a year of utter BS, I don’t think I have to.
- Snow: When he’s not under a spell he’s really quite Charm—
- Emma: Stop.
- Snow: Okay, twenty eight years of birthday presents to make up for. I covered the first fourteen. I tried to get a good mix of sentimental stuff and things that she can actually use now. Books, toys, clothes, what have you. What about you? What’s in the bag?
- Charming: Swords.
- Snow: Swords?
- Charming: Fourteen swords.
- Snow: No.
- Charming: But this one’s jewel encruste-
- Snow: No.
- Henry: Have either of you seen Emma? I want to ask her something.
- Snow: She’s out, but maybe we can help. What's eating at you?
- Henry: It’s this girl. See, at first I thought she liked me, but she was actually just using me to steal stuff.
- Snow: Oh, jeez.
- Charming: Steal stuff, you say? In my experience, the best time to meet women is while they’re stealing. Preferably from you.
- Henry: What?
- Charming: Has she given you a sarcastic nickname yet?
- Snow: Henry, go.
- Charming: Shot you in the arm?
- Snow: Go ask someone else.
- Charming: I wonder if we should invite her to dinner?
- Snow: Literally anyone else.
- Red: Okay, I think it's safe to say we're best friends at this point. You know all my relationship problems, including the part where I ate my boyfriend. We’re on the run right now. I think we’re at the real-name stage of this relationship.
- Snow: Fair enough. My real name is Snow White.
- Red: Snow White?
- Snow: Yes.
- Red: Seriously?
- Snow: What?
- Red: How is that any less ridiculous than Frosty?
- Snow: Your name is RED!
- Red: My NICKNAME is Red. Your real name is two names and both of them are ridiculous.
- Snow: Whatever, man. Don’t call me next time you're a wanted fugitive.
- Emma: Finally got yourself a computer?
- Rumplestiltskin: I've always had it, but Belle finally made me set it up.
- Emma: What are you doing with it now?
- Rumplestiltskin: Reading.
- Emma: Reading what?
- Rumplestiltskin: The, ah, iTunes User Agreement.
- Cinderella: Seriously? No one reads that.
- Rumplestiltskin: Then I guess that makes two contracts you never read.
- Cinderella: Die in a fire
- Belle: Rum, I’m going to see my dad. Do you want to--
- Rumplestiltskin: No.
- Belle: Come on--
- Rumplestiltskin: No.
- Belle: He barely remembers what you did to him.
- Rumplestiltskin: Probably because of the head trauma.
- Belle: Cinderella’s father-in-law tried to SELL her baby-- to you actually-- and she doesn’t hold it against him.
- Rumplestiltskin: Then you can bring him to meet your father.
- Belle: You're a coward.
- Rumplestiltskin: And you've chosen to love a coward.
- Belle: Seriously thinking about booking another stay at Regina’s crazy hospital dungeon because of it.
- Belle: Who was that?
- Rumplestiltskin: Just an old beggar woman selling flowers.
- Belle: Flowers.
- Belle: Way out here.
- Belle: At the door of one of the most feared men in the land.
- Rumplestiltskin: ...Yes?
- Belle: I'm calling your bluff, buddy, but this is one of our less angsty scenes so I’m gonna let it slide.
- Emma: You look pretty happy for someone who's just found out that they’ve been cursed for 28 years.
- Jiminy: Oh, just getting ready for the influx in job traffic. There are going to be a lot of people mesed up by the whole dual-life situation, and who are they going to turn to for advice? Me.
- Emma: You do realize you’re not actually a therapist, right? How is this good for you?
- Jiminy: Because if I’m lucky, that translates into more screen-time!
- Emma: That’s sick, man.
- Jiminy: Easy for you to say, Ms. Appearing-In-Every-Episode.
- Emma: You are the worst conscience ever.
- Henry: Hey, I saw half the town arguing in the middle of the road on the way here. What’s going on?
- Emma: Don’t worry about it. They’re just fighting over who gets first crack at Regina once Season 2 starts. I say we just let it play out.
- Henry: Oh. Why aren’t you out there too?
- Emma: Have you seen Rumplestiltskin swing that cane? No thanks. Line forms behind him.
- Jefferson: You have to make me a hat.
- Emma: Dude, I’m a bailbondswoman. Very specific set of skills.
- Emma: Take down a guy, boot a car, sure.
- Emma: Haberdashery, not so much.
- Jefferson: Actually, that’s a common mistake. The term is hatting.
- Emma: I feel like you’re just proving my point here.
